The Man in the Trolley.

29.06.2026

When we buy something online, we have the right to return it. All it takes is for it to fall short of our expectations. We receive a refund and, without much thought, move on to the next item. No one finds that surprising anymore.

The problem arises when we start applying the same way of thinking to people.

We live in a world where consumerism has become second nature. We buy, replace, choose and compare. There is nothing inherently wrong with that. What becomes unsettling is the moment we begin to view human relationships in the same way.

More and more often, it feels as though we judge people by what they are able to offer us. We expect a partner to fulfil our emotional needs, a friend to always be available, an employee to generate profit, and an acquaintance to make us feel better about ourselves. As long as they live up to our expectations, they remain important to us. Once they no longer do, we start looking for someone who can meet our needs more effectively.

This rarely happens consciously. More often than not, we fail to notice that the way we treat objects gradually begins to shape the way we see people. We have become accustomed to a world where almost everything can be replaced with something newer, faster or more appealing. Accepting that human beings do not work that way is far more difficult.

Relationships are not products in a catalogue. They come with no guarantee of success and no option to exchange them for a better model. Every relationship goes through a period of excitement, but also moments of disappointment, misunderstanding and crisis. It is in those moments that we discover whether we are building a genuine bond or simply taking from what another person brings into our lives.

The longer we live in a culture of consumption, the easier it becomes to forget that a person is not something to be placed in a shopping trolley, assessed and then put back on the shelf. A relationship is not a purchase.

A person loses their humanity the moment they stop trying to know another person for who they truly are and start asking what they can gain from them.

We try less and less to understand one another. It is far easier to decide that “this isn’t it”, close that chapter and begin searching for someone who seems to fit our expectations more closely.

This is perhaps most visible in intimacy. It is there that closeness is most easily confused with the fulfilment of our own needs. When intimacy itself begins to be judged primarily by the satisfaction it brings us, it becomes all too easy to forget that it is not a service, but a language of mutual trust, tenderness and presence.

Yet this way of thinking extends far beyond romantic relationships. Today, it takes only a few clicks to meet someone, start a conversation or end one. We have more choices than ever before. And yet we continue to hear about loneliness, rejection and the growing difficulty of building lasting relationships.

This is not about abandoning healthy boundaries or remaining in relationships that cause harm. There are times when walking away is the only right decision. Even so, it is worth asking ourselves whether every relationship that ended truly had to end. Or whether, sometimes, it was simply another choice made in a world that constantly tells us that someone better, easier or more perfectly suited to our expectations is always waiting just around the corner.

We may not change the whole world. But change can begin with the way we choose to see other people. It begins with the decision to see another human being, not a source of personal gain.

At some point, every one of us has found ourselves in someone else’s shopping trolley. The question is: do we want to be treated as a product, or as a person worth knowing, understanding and choosing to stay with?