The One Who Loved by Waiting.

06.09.2025

Some letters don’t ask for answers. They just want to be seen. This one was written by a man who loves and waits. I’m sure there are more quiet words like his. We just don’t always get the chance to hear them. That’s why I’m sharing it with you. Maybe someone will see themselves in it.

Hi James,

 I read your blogs. Don’t get everything, but a lot of it hits me. You write about stuff people usually don’t talk about. That’s why I’m writing.

I’ve been with him for almost two years. I love him. But lately it hurts more than it makes me happy. Sometimes it’s good. Then he disappears, says nothing.
Later he comes back like nothing happened and says sorry. And I believe him again. I give him another chance. Because I love him.

Because it used to be good and I want it to be good again. Maybe he’ll sort himself out? But I don’t know anymore. I don’t know if it’s still love or already just stupid.

I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I don’t know when to tell myself it’s enough.

 If you can, write something about this on the blog. Maybe someone else reading feels the same. You can post my letter, just don’t use my name.

 (Man, 36 years old)

Dear friend

Thank you for your letter and for the courage it took to put your feelings into words. I know many people feel the same, even if they never say it out loud. What you shared might help someone feel less alone.

I’m not going to tell you what to do. I don’t know what it’s like when he comes back. I don’t know how much it hurts to wait in silence. But I do know this.
The chances we give should lead to something changing, not take more of us every time.

When someone disappears and comes back like nothing happened, that’s not love.
That’s convenience.

When you explain his silence and he doesn’t, that’s not a relationship.
That’s one-sided loyalty.

When you hope he’ll change, but he’s doing nothing to make it happen, that’s not hope.
That’s holding on to something that’s not real.

You’re not saying he’s changing. You’re saying he’s sorry.
Saying sorry is easy. Changing takes effort.

You don’t have to decide anything right now. You don’t have to know tomorrow’s answer today.
But try to hold on to this. You matter too.

Your silence means something. 
Your feelings matter.
Your boundaries have the right to exist.

Don’t lose yourself, even if you care about him deeply. Love should give you strength, not take it from you piece by piece.
And if you’re always the one trying to keep yourself afloat, maybe it’s time to ask why you keep sinking.

I know you love him. But the question is.
Are you being loved?

Take care,
James