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The truth about butterflies.


Everyone knows that feeling when the butterflies try to escape our stomachs. Hungry for every minute, we eagerly await the next day, bringing us unforgettable moments.

Hidden in the moonlight, we utter the magical words "I love you". We start planning our future together, confident that we will stay in this fairy tale forever. Nothing could be further from the truth.

We quickly find that fabulousness crowds out the everyday. The butterflies don't have the strength to flutter their wings and, lost in the daily grind of cleaning, shopping, bills and long hours at work, we lose from our memories what was important to us. Why? Because we forget that butterflies only start our relationship, and the rest is up to us.

It can be compared to buying a house with a garden. We renovate our new home with attention to every detail. We purchase new furniture, paint the walls or put up wallpaper. We plant new trees, grass, flowers in the garden and even decorate it with ornaments and a fountain. Our garden sparkles in the sunshine, arousing the envy of our neighbours.

Autumn arrives, the wind blows the leaves off the trees, the grass turns yellow, dead flowers lie on the ground, the fountain becomes overgrown with algae, the paths are covered with mud, and soon afterwards, winter covers your garden with snow. You enter a state of lethargy, living like a machine carrying out its daily chores.

Spring is coming. The world wakes from its slumber. This is your moment. Suppose you don't start tidying up after winter, replanting flowers, reseeding grass, pruning trees and cleaning fountains. In that case, your magical garden will be a thing of the past, and the butterflies will fly away forever.

I have some ideas for you that I have tried out myself. They may prove helpful, but I can’t promise they will work, as everyone is different. However, with a little willingness, they can work wonders. There is only one rule: you have to do it together.

  1. Choose one day a week (not a weekend) when you switch off your phones after work and spend this time just the two of you. It could be going to the cinema, a restaurant, a walk, a museum, cycling, exploring new places, whatever comes to mind. This needs to become a regular part of your week.
  2. At the weekend, you can prepare your partner's favourite breakfast, and then let them return the favour by preparing you lunch or dinner. Celebrate this as if you were in a restaurant.
  3. Share household chores and do them together at the same time.
  4. Talk about what worries you and what makes you happy. Conversations are key.
  5. Be respectful of each other, and if there is an argument, wait a while for emotions to subside and apologise to each other. Never go to bed angry.

Dear friends, I believe that your gardens will continually flourish, attracting flocks of carefree and dancing butterflies, because love is the greatest gift we carry within us. Thank you for your emails, and I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. Take care.